Isobel Hannay had met Bathurst as he was carrying a sack of earth
to the roof.
"I have been wanting to speak to you, Mr. Bathurst, ever since
yesterday evening, but you have never given me an opportunity. Will
you step into the storeroom for a few minutes as you come down?"
As he came down he went to the door of the room in which Isobel
was standing awaiting him.
"I am not coming in, Miss Hannay; I believe I know what you are
going to say. I saw it in your face last night when I had to tell
that tiger story. You want to say that you are sorry you said that
you despised cowards. Do not say it; you were perfectly right; you
cannot despise me one tenth as much as I despise myself. While you
were looking at the mutineers from the roof I was leaning against
the wall below well nigh fainting. What do you think my feelings
must be that here, where every man is brave, where there are women
and children to be defended, I alone cannot bear my part. Look at
my face; I know there is not a vestige of color in it. Look at my
hands; they are not steady yet. It is useless for you to speak;
you may pity me, but you cannot but despise me. Believe me, that
death when it comes will be to me a happy release indeed from the
shame and misery I feel."
Then, turning, he left the girl without another word, and went
about his work. The Doctor had, just before going up to take his
place on the roof, come across him.
"Come in here, my dear Bathurst," he said, seizing his arm and
dragging him into the room which had been given up to him for his
drugs and surgical appliances.
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