Avdyeeich fell a-talking with him and began to complain of his great
sorrow. "As for living any longer, thou man of God," said he, "I desire it
not. Would only that I might die! That is my sole prayer to God. I am now
a man who has no hope."
And the old man said to him: "Thy speech, Martin, is not good. How shall
we judge the doings of God? God's judgments are not our thoughts. God
willed that thy son shouldst die, but that thou shouldst live. Therefore
'twas the best thing both for him and for thee. It is because thou wouldst
fain have lived for thy own delight that thou dost now despair."
"But what then _is_ a man to live for?" asked Avdyeeich.
And the old man answered: "For God, Martin! He gave thee life, and for Him
therefore must thou live. When thou dost begin to live for Him, thou wilt
grieve about nothing more, and all things will come easy to thee."
Martin was silent for a moment, and then he said: "And how must one live
for God?"
"Christ hath shown us the way. Thou knowest thy letters. Buy the Gospels
and read; there thou wilt find out how to live for God. There everything
is explained."
These words made the heart of Avdyeeich burn within him, and he went the
same day and bought for himself a New Testament printed in very large
type, and began to read.
Avdyeeich set out with the determination to read it only on holidays; but
as he read, it did his heart so much good that he took to reading it every
day.
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