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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI. (of X.)"

Then he threw up his hands and said:
"Wal--I'll--be--durned!"


VERRE DEFINITE
BY WALLACE BRUCE AMSBARY

It' verre long, long tam', ma frien',
I'm leeve on Bourbonnais,
I'm keep de gen'rale merchandise,
I'm prom'nent man, dey say;
I'm sell mos' every t'ing dere ees,
From sulky plow to sock,
I don' care w'at you ask me for,
You'll fin' it in my stock.
Las' w'ek dere was de _petite fille_
Of ma frien', Gosse, he com'
Into ma shop to get stock_ing_,
She want to buy her som';
She was herself not verre ol',
Near twelve year, I suppose;
She com' to me an' say, "M'sieu,
I wan' to buy som' hose."
I always mak' de custom rule,
No matter who it ees,
To be polite an' eloquent
In transack of ma beez;
I say to her, "For who you wan'
Dese stockings to be wear?"
She say she need wan pair herself,
Also for small bruddere.
She say her bruddere's eight years ol'
An' coming almos' nine,
An' I am twelve, mos' near t'irteen,
Dat size will do for mine:
An' modder she will tak' beeg pair,
She weigh 'bout half a ton,
She wan' de size of forty year
Go_ing_ on forty-one.


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