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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI. (of X.)"

I told Eleanor she mustn't feel put out about it--we was all
mortal--and if it hadn't been for satisfyin' John I'd never have let her
know how careless she'd been--of course I'd made allowance, a weddin'
_is_ upsettin' to the intellect--and so 'twas all right.
I had a real good view of the ceremony; but 'twasn't _their_ fault that
I had; it just happened that way.
When John and me got there I asked the young man at the door--he was a
yusher and a stranger to me--to give us a front seat, but he said that
all the front places was reserved for the relations of the bride and
groom, and then I noticed that they'd tied off the middle aisle about
seven pews back with white satin ribbons and a big bunch of pink roses.
It seemed real impolite to invite folks to a weddin' and then take the
best seats themselves.
Well, just then I happened to feel my shoelacin' gettin' loose and I
stepped to one side to fix it; and when I got up from stoopin' and my
gloves on and buttoned--I had to take 'em off to tie my shoe--and
straightened John's cravat for him, why, there was the families on both
sides just goin' in.


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