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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI. (of X.)"

Nevil which waileth continually over how he was
caught short in the month of June. Beshrew me if I repent not of June on
mine own behalf but am determined to live properly and so have
despatched a messenger to my cousin Sarah Badminton asking that she come
to keep mine house.

_August twentieth_
Comes Sarah Badminton this day and Lord but a plain woman, being flat
like unto a board from her heels up unto her head, but curiously shaped
in and out in front. Still she do seem a worthy jade and good at heart
and ever attentive when I will to converse and sitteth with me of a
breakfast my wife being ever asleep till ten.
Last night to the Play where comes Lasselle and makes very merry and
telleth jokes the which of great amusement to my wife while I find no
mirth therein. Later to supper at the coffee house and my wife
exceedingly witty and me all of a wonder at the change in her in public
and on reflection do find it passing strange that one ugly like Mistress
Badminton will effort her to be gracious at home while one so handsome
as my wife sleeps ever.


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