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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI. (of X.)"


Had too much. That's what did me up. If I hadn't been trying to think
that blamed thought, I'd 'a' seen Jim a-comin'."
"But, Willy," expostulated Mrs. Dodge, "you must hold fast."
"Hold nothin'!" said Billy. He arose and sat up very straight in the
bed. "I tell you I am goin' to have no more nonsense. Gimme quinine,
hell, a gold basis, and capital punishment! That's my platform from this
on. I'm goin' to look up a good Sunday-school to-morrow, in a church
with a steeple on it, and a strict, regular minister, and all the
fixin's. Remember, mother, after this I travel on my muscle weekdays,
and keep Sunday like a clock!"
The twins picked up the scattered thoughts from the floor--Billy was
lying in his mother's room--and their eyes were big with wonder.
"Burn 'em!" commanded Billy. Then, on second thought, he relented
slightly. "Keep 'em yourself if you want to," he said to the twins.
"Holdin' the thought may be all right for girls, but with boys it don't
work!"


SO WAGS THE WORLD
BY ANNE WARNER
(With apologies to Samuel Pepys, Esquire)

_February first_
My birthday and I exceedingly merry thereat having in divers friends and
much good wine beside two pasties and more of all than we could eat and
drink had we been doubled.


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