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Various

"The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI. (of X.)"


Her desk's shut up to-day, the lid's locked fast;
The keys where she typewrote are still; her chair
Looks sad and lonesome standin' empty there--
I'd like to let the tears come if I dast.
This morning when the boss come in he found
A letter that he'd got from her, and so
He read it over twice and turned around
And said: "The little fool's got married!" Oh,
It seemed as if I'd sink down through the ground,
And never peep no more--I didn't, though.


MR. DOOLEY ON THE GAME OF FOOTBALL
BY FINLEY PETER DUNNE

"Whin I was a young man," said Mr. Dooley, "an' that was a long time
ago,--but not so long ago as manny iv me inimies'd like to believe, if I
had anny inimies,--I played fut-ball, but 'twas not th' fut-ball I see
whin th' Brothers' school an' th' Saint Aloysius Tigers played las' week
on th' pee-raries.
"Whin I was a la-ad, iv a Sundah afthernoon we'd get out in th' field
where th' oats'd been cut away, an' we'd choose up sides. Wan cap'n'd
pick one man, an' th' other another.


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