One other incident varied that interval, if possible more pleasantly than
those. It was the announcement, in a Liverpool paper, of the departure of
the _Seamew_, bound for Melbourne; and among the passengers were reported
'Dudley Ruthyn, Esquire, of Bartram-H., and Mrs. D. Ruthyn.'
And now I began to breathe freely, I plainly saw the end of my probation
approaching: a short excursion to France, a happy meeting with Milly, and
then a delightful residence with Cousin Monica for the remainder of my
nonage.
You will say then that my spirits and my serenity were quite restored. Not
quite. How marvellously lie our anxieties, in filmy layers, one over the
other! Take away that which has lain on the upper surface for so long--the
care of cares--the only one, as it seemed to you, between your soul and the
radiance of Heaven--and straight you find a new stratum there. As physical
science tells us no fluid is without its skin, so does it seem with this
fine medium of the soul, and these successive films of care that form upon
its surface on mere contact with the upper air and light.
What was my new trouble? A very fantastic one, you will say--the illusion
of a self-tormentor.
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