Why don't these ladies, who come here and sit it through, have
the honesty to admit that they come because they like it? But no; they
go away, and at the next party, where they wear dresses lower in the
neck than any I've seen on the stage to night, they'll abuse the poor
girls who have danced here for their amusement. Their malignant modesty
does not deserve the respect of an intelligent _figurante_. If they are
sincere, why do they come here?"
Which question still puzzles the perturbed mind of
MATADOR.
* * * * *
Give 'em Rope.
We clip the following from the _Express_:
"There seem to be more legal loopholes for convicted murderers to escape
through than for any other class of criminals."
That is too true, by a great deal. There should be but one "legal
loophole" for a convicted murderer, and the authorities should not let
him escape through the loop of it--they should Knot.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A MOVING INCIDENT.
_Pat, (to Bridget.)_ "TAKE YOUR MASTHER'S TRUNK TO THE RAILROAD, IS IT?
OCH! BOTHER--DON'T YOU SEE I'M MOVIN' A FAMILY?"]
* * * * *
THE "TOBACCO PARLIAMENT" OF OHIO.
For genial law-making in America commend us to the Ohio House of
Representatives. While we haven't learned that the legislation of this
august body has been particularly hazy of late, we think it must have
been wholesome, for we are assured that much of it has been thoroughly
"fumigated" through the exertions of the majority of its members, who
perform their functions with pipes in their mouths, while drawn up in
semi-circle around a couple of fire-places built expressly for their
accommodation--"one on each side of the speaker's desk," Who _wouldn't_
legislate, (and early, too,) if he could do it with his feet on the
fender, his well-flavored Havana or best Virginia leaf in his mouth, and
the privilege of cracking jokes and telling naughty stories _ad
interim?_ Go it, ye Buckeye lawmakers! Shall we hear of any sympathy for
Cuba in that quarter?
* * * * *
A "Woman's Physic.
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