Sure to be smashed to particles,
Or "snaked off" with a "hook"!
You've got
Chairs, bedsteads, tables, crockery--
(Recital seems a mockery!)
You've got--what have you not?
What's worse,
Your things won't fit new places,
Your wife won't like new faces--
Your very maid will curse!
Your hat
And other things _do_ fall so!
And children they _do_ bawl so!
Good heavens! think of that,
And think
Of possible colds and fevers--
Cartmen that prove deceivers--
Nothing to eat or drink!
Small bliss
For bachelors so lonely--.
Tired of one thing only:
But they escape all this!
And pray,
What man with sons and daughters
Don't sigh for bachelor quarters
About the First of May?
* * * * *
Printed, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the
PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District
Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New York.
* * * * *
THE DELIGHTS OF DOUGHERTY.
At the Banquet of the Army of the Potomac in Philadelphia, Mr. DANIEL
DOUGHERTY made one of the most extraordinary speeches on record, if we
except certain forensic efforts of Mr. PUNCHINELLO delivered during the
earlier stages of his career from his box. Mr. DOUGHERTY is a Soarer,
and a Spreader, and a Screamer.
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