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Butler, Ellis Parker, 1869-1937

"The Water goats and other troubles"


There are other objections to shooting a burglar in the house,
and these objections apply with double force when the house and
its furnishings are entirely new. Although some of the rugs in
our house were red, not all of them were; and I had no guarantee
that if I shot a burglar he would lie down on a red rug to bleed
to death. A burglar does not consider one's feelings, and would
be quite as apt to bleed on a green rug, and spoil it, as not.
Until burglarizing is properly regulated and burglars are
educated, as they should be, in technical burglary schools, we
cannot hope that a shot burglar will staunch his wound until he
can find a red rug to lie down on.
And there are still other objections to shooting a burglar. If
all burglars were fat, one of these would be removed; but perhaps
a thin burglar might get in front of my revolver, and in that
case the bullet would be likely to go right through him and
continue on its way, and perhaps break a mirror or a cut-glass
dish. I am a thin man myself, and if a burglar shot at me he
might damage things in the same way.


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