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Butler, Ellis Parker, 1869-1937

"The Water goats and other troubles"

Billings's coat, which was thrown
carelessly over the foot of the bed. Protruding from one of the
side pockets was a patent nursing-bottle, half full of milk.
Instantly Mrs. Billings was out of bed and searching Mr.
Billings's other pockets. To her horror her search was fruitful.
In a vest pocket she found three false curls, or puffs of hair,
such as ladies are wearing to-day to increase the abundance of
their own, and these curls were of a rich brownish red. Finally,
when she dived into his trousers pocket, she found twelve acorns
carefully wrapped in a lady's handkerchief, with the initials
"T. M. C." embroidered in one corner.
All these Mrs. Billings hid carefully in her upper bureau
drawer and proceeded to dress. When at length she awakened Mr.
Billings, he yawned, stretched, and then, realizing that
getting-up time had arrived, hopped briskly out of bed.
"You got in late last night," said Mrs. Billings pleasantly.
If she had expected Mr. Billings to cringe and cower she was
mistaken. He continued to dress, quite in his usual manner, as if
he had a clear conscience.


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