It was over my head. And I kept
tinkin'--and den I beat it up here to see what youse was like. And
I waited till dey was all gone to git yuh alone. Say, how d'yuh
feel sittin' in dat pen all de time, havin' to stand for 'em
comin' and starin' at yuh--de white-faced, skinny tarts and de
boobs what marry 'em--makin' fun of yuh, laughin' at yuh, gittin'
scared of yuh--damn 'em! [He pounds on the rail with his fist. The
gorilla rattles the bars of his cage and snarls. All the other
monkeys set up an angry chattering in the darkness. YANK goes on
excitedly.] Sure! Dat's de way it hits me, too. On'y yuh're lucky,
see? Yuh don't belong wit 'em and yuh know it. But me, I belong
wit 'em--but I don't, see? Dey don't belong wit me, dat's what.
Get me? Tinkin' is hard--[He passes one hand across his forehead
with a painful gesture. The gorilla growls impatiently. YANK goes
on gropingly.] It's dis way, what I'm drivin' at. Youse can sit
and dope dream in de past, green woods, de jungle and de rest of
it. Den yuh belong and dey don't. Den yuh kin laugh at 'em, see?
Yuh're de champ of de woild. But me--I ain't got no past to tink
in, nor nothin' dat's comin', on'y what's now--and dat don't
belong. Sure, you're de best off! Yuh can't tink, can yuh? Yuh
can't talk neider. But I kin make a bluff at talkin' and tinkin'--
a'most git away wit it--a'most!--and dat's where de joker comes
in.
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