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O'Neill, Eugene, 1888-1953

"The Hairy Ape"


YANK--Sure. [But he still stands, embarrassed and uneasy.]
SECRETARY--[Looking at him--curiously.] What did you knock for?
Think we had a coon in uniform to open doors?
YANK--Naw. I tought it was locked--and dat yuh'd wanter give me
the once-over trou a peep-hole or somep'n to see if I was right.
SECRETARY--[Alert and suspicious but with an easy laugh.] Think we
were running a crap game? That door is never locked. What put that
in your nut?
YANK--[With a knowing grin, convinced that this is all camouflage,
a part of the secrecy.] Dis burg is full of bulls, ain't it?
SECRETARY--[Sharply.] What have the cops got to do with us? We're
breaking no laws.
YANK--[With a knowing wink.] Sure. Youse wouldn't for woilds.
Sure. I'm wise to dat.
SECRETARY--You seem to be wise to a lot of stuff none of us knows
about.
YANK--[With another wink.] Aw, dat's aw right, see. [Then made a
bit resentful by the suspicious glances from all sides.] Aw, can
it! Youse needn't put me trou de toid degree. Can't youse see I
belong? Sure! I'm reg'lar. I'll stick, get me? I'll shoot de woiks
for youse. Dat's why I wanted to join in.
SECRETARY--[Breezily, feeling him out.] That's the right spirit.
Only are you sure you understand what you've joined? It's all
plain and above board; still, some guys get a wrong slant on us.


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