WHAT'S HOT
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O'Neill, Eugene, 1888-1953

"The Hairy Ape"


[Disturbed by her eyes, glances out to sea--blurts out.] A fine
day we're having.
MILDRED--Is it?
SECOND ENGINEER--A nice warm breeze--
MILDRED--It feels cold to me.
SECOND ENGINEER--But it's hot enough in the sun--
MILDRED--Not hot enough for me. I don't like Nature. I was never
athletic.
SECOND ENGINEER--[Forcing a smile.] Well, you'll find it hot
enough where you're going.
MILDRED--Do you mean hell?
SECOND ENGINEER--[Flabbergasted, decides to laugh.] Ho-ho! No, I
mean the stokehole.
MILDRED--My grandfather was a puddler. He played with boiling
steel.
SECOND ENGINEER--[All at sea--uneasily.] Is that so? Hum, you'll
excuse me, ma'am, but are you intending to wear that dress.
MILDRED--Why not?
SECOND ENGINEER--You'll likely rub against oil and dirt. It can't
be helped.
MILDRED--It doesn't matter. I have lots of white dresses.
SECOND ENGINEER--I have an old coat you might throw over--
MILDRED--I have fifty dresses like this. I will throw this one
into the sea when I come back. That ought to wash it clean, don't
you think?
SECOND ENGINEER--[Doggedly.] There's ladders to climb down that
are none too clean--and dark alleyways--
MILDRED--I will wear this very dress and none other.
SECOND ENGINEER--No offence meant. It's none of my business.


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