"Spare one moment more to hear what I have just received by telegraph
from Berlin, which is to say that your grandmother--"
"I never had a grandmother!" roared the King, upon the verge of madness,
as the Crown Prince, at the head of six Army Corps surrounded the
building and captured me without firing a shot.
P.S.--It is scarcely necessary in my present exhausted state to say that
my liberation is once more entirely due to the intercession of that man
of all men, the defender of injured innocence, and the champion of all
unfortunates, the most honorable Mr. WASHBURNE, American Minister, &c.
He told them that he had known me from boyhood; that my father died in
the lunatic asylum, and dying, bequeathed his intellectual
characteristics to his son, which was all he had to bequeath. The King
said it was more than likely, and so I got off.
DICK TINTO.
* * * * *
Wonderful Sagacity.
Newspapers mention that an Irish crow has lately arrived as a passenger
on board the steamship _Colorado._ It is stated that the bird has
positively declined to quit the ship, and the inference is that its
unwillingness to do so arises from fear lest it might be mistaken for a
Thanksgiving Turkey.
* * * * *
A Wintry Reflection.
The only Weather Profits that never fail are the gains of the coal
dealers.
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