"HIRAM GREEN," said MARIAR, backin me up into a corner, "you old sinner,
you, look at that senter table, all scratched up with heels of a pair of
drunken cow-hide butes. Look at my work basket; it looks as if a
percession of hogs had been marchin into it.--See that nice rag carpet
which took me over 6 months to make; what is it? eh! it's covered with
old tabacker cuds, mud, segar stumps, broken whiskey bottles, and dish
water. Haint you a sweet venerable head of a family? Haint you a saperb
copy bound in calf, of ex-legal jewrisprudence?
"Presented you with a tea sarvice, did they? Oh! yool be the ruination
of this family with your confounded efforts seekin arter fame.
You--you--"
I dident wait to hear no more, but left the house with my feelins in a
hily mixed up state. I have made up my mind to one thing, that if I ever
get up another cerprise, I will hire good moral men, sich as editors,
noosepaper men, and literary folks ginerally, whose conducts is above
suspishon, to conduct the preceedins.
When this you spy,
Remember HI,
Ewers, truly,
HIRAM GREEN, Esq.,
Lait Gustise of the Peece.
* * * * *
[Illustration: BABY'S PHOTOGRAPH.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: SONG OF THE OYSTER.
"PUT ME IN MY LITTLE BED.
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