Consekently I hired 1/2 dozen of my nabors, whom I supposed wouldent
make turnal fools of their selves, to call at the Old Green manshon with
a crowd of peeple, at the hour when I was supposed to be to bed, for the
purpuss of presentin me with a silver tea sarvice, which our Joowiler
had lent me for the occasion. I writ up an impromptu speech, and
practiced it for over a week, out in my barn, so as to be reddy for the
cerprise.
My 3 oldest darters had agreed to be dressed up in white, representen
the 3 graces--Faith, Hope, & Charity--and arrangin their selfs in a
tabloo in the back parler, they was to throw open the foldin doors at a
signal from me. I also tride to get my wife to rig up; says she:
"Me rig up? No, sir! I wouldent encourage sich a lot of tom foolery to
save your consarned neck. And I know of a sartin Old Noosants who'l
ketch Hail Columbia if he musses up these ere parlers to freely."
The noosants referred to was no doubt the undersined; I know it was.
Mariar was allers full of pet names, and this was one of them.
When she called me pet names, I dident stop to argue with her. It is no
use; shee'l allers have the last word, if she sets up all nite for a
week for it. You mite just as well try to make Bosting fokes think the
hul United States don't resolve around Masserchussetts Bay and Bosting
Common once every 24 times an hour, as to undertake to stop a womans
clack when she gets on a talkin fit.
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