This, of course, is very foolish. The best way of putting a stop to it
would be for your German boarders to keep guns of even larger calibre in
their rooms, and fire the Frenchman down. You will then have a perfect
right to charge all your boarders for extra fires.
_Ney_.--Please explain two things about the war. First: How did the
Mobile Guard come to leave Mobile? Second: Is _Francs-Tireurs_ the
French for FRANK BUTLER'S black-and-tan terriers?
_Answer_.--We cannot perceive much difference between NEY and BRAY.
_Artichoke_.--You are mistaken in supposing total deafness to be an
indispensable qualification in a candidate for the position of prompter
to a theatre.
_Flippertygibbet_.--How is the belligerent attitude of the Russian Bear
likely to affect the New York money market?
_Answer_.--Turn a rushin' bear into any market, and see what the result
will be.
_Paterfamilias_.--I am the unhappy father of three brace of twins, and
wish to dispose of one out of each brace. Can you advise me in the
matter?
_Answer_.--If you don't mind being put in the Lockup, perhaps you had
better apply to "Dr." LOOKUP.
_Sad-you-See_.--We cannot sympathize with you in your wail about the
markets being "flat." Wait a while, patiently, and they will come
"round."
_Peter Dole_.--Your questions about cooking turkeys for Thanksgiving Day
are so multitudinous, that we can only reply to them generally.
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