Whenever he happened
to be in doubt, his father would "instruct" him in his dreams. Thus
we lived according to Jacob's decisions and dreams. I got used to
eating forbidden food, to breaking the Sabbath, and trespassing
against all the ordinances of the ritual without compunction. And
yet Jacob used to preach to us, to bear floggings and all kinds of
punishments rather than turn traitor to our faith. So I got the
notion that our faith is neither prayers, nor a collection of
ordinances of varying importance, but something I could not name,
nor point to with my finger. Jacob, I thought, certainly knows all
about it; but I do not. All I could was to _feel_ it; so could
Anna. Otherwise she would not have called me Zhid, and would not
have hated me so much, in spite of seeing me break all the
ordinances of the Jewish ritual.
At times I thought that I and my comrades were captains in God's
army, that all His ordinances were not meant for us, but for the
plain soldiers of the line. They, the rank and file, must be
subjected to discipline, must know how to submit to authority; all
of which does not apply to the commanding officers.
Pages:
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74