If you have once served him well you may do what you like
afterwards. There is one of his coachmen who is drunk from morning to
night. But he gained the cross at Marengo, and so he is safe.'
De Caulaincourt had moved on to speak with some lady, and I was again
left to my own thoughts, which turned upon this extraordinary man, who
presented himself at one moment as a hero and at another as a spoiled
child, with his nobler and his worse side alternating so rapidly that I
had no sooner made up my mind about him than some new revelation would
destroy my views and drive me to some fresh conclusion. That he was
necessary to France was evident, and that in serving him one was serving
one's country. But was it an honour or a penance to serve him? Was he
worthy merely of obedience, or might love and esteem be added to it?
These were the questions which we found it difficult to answer--and some
of us will never have answered them up to the end of time.
The company had now lost all appearance of formality, and even the
soldiers seemed to be at their ease.
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