But the life she has chosen for herself is martyrdom, and her womanly
shrinking from the suffering she would alleviate is never lessened by
use. Yet she does not waver. Other women admire her devotion, and
follow in her footsteps; they do not doubt but that she has chosen the
better part; but I fancy that most men who have seen her draw the
little children about her and forget everything for a moment but her
delight in them, have felt that there must be something wrong in the
world when such a woman misses her vocation, and has to scatter her
love to the four winds of heaven, for want of an object upon which to
concentrate it in all its strength.
I do not know if her feeling for Lorrimer has changed. My sister
declares in her positive way that of course it has, completely; but my
sister is not always right. Ideala has never mentioned his name since
she returned to us, nor given us any other clue by which we could
judge. Only on one occasion, when some allusion was made to the course
she had intended to pursue in the past, she exclaimed: "Oh, how could
I!" and covered her face with her hands.
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