She looked as women
look when they know themselves entrusted with a work, and have the
courage and resolution to be true and worthy of their trust. She was
very gracious, but somehow in the first moment of our meeting I felt
abashed--abashed before this woman who had gone down to the verge of
dishonour, but whose goodness, with the vitality of all goodness, had
raised her again above the best; whose trouble had been to her, because
of this goodness, as is a painful operation which must be gone through
if the patient would ever be strong.
I fancy she thought me cold because my great respect made me shy, and I
hesitated to show her all the joy I felt.
"Won't you kiss me once after my long, long voyage?" she said, holding
up her face like a child to be kissed. And it made me inexpressibly
glad, to perceive that, while gaining in dignity and purpose, her
character had lost none of the childlike faith and affection which had
been one of the greatest charms of the old Ideala. I could not help
examining her curiously, looking for traces of a conflict, for those
lines of suffering which are generally left by fierce mental troubles
like scars after a battle, showing that the fight has been no child's
play, but a struggle for life or death.
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