But
my love is too great to be selfish. His wishes for himself are my
wishes, and what is best for him is happiest for me. Am I never
jealous? Jealous! No! Do you not know that he is mine, mine through
every change? Neither time nor distance separates us really. No common
tie can keep him from me. Let him be bound as and to whomsoever he
pleases, his soul is mine, and must return to me sooner or later. I
like him to be happy in any way that is right, for I know that what he
gives to others is not himself. I was not fit for the dear earthly
love, but perhaps, if I keep myself pure, body and soul, for him, I
shall be made worthy at last, and of something better. And my love is
so great it would draw him in spite of himself; but it will not be in
spite of himself, for he will find by-and-by that he cannot live with a
smaller soul, and then he will come to me. Do you not understand what I
want? His soul--purified, strengthened, ennobled--nothing less will
satisfy me; and his mother might ask as much. If I might be made the
means of saving it--" Then after a little pause, she added: "Ah, how
beautiful death is! He will be glad, as I should be now, to meet it--
and yet more glad! for then the end will have come for him, but I
should have still to wait.
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