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Grand, Sarah

"Ideala"

"
I turned to the mantelpiece, and tried to interest myself in the lovely
things with which it was crowded; but never in my life did my heart
sink so for another; never have I endured such moments of pained
suspense.
I heard him open the envelope; I heard the paper rustle as he turned
the page; and then there was silence--
Full of the city's stilly sound--
a moment only, but filled with
Something which possess'd
The darkness of the world, delight,
Life, anguish, death, immortal love.
Ceasing not, mingled, unrepress'd,
Apart from space, witholding time--
a moment's silence, and then a heavy fall. Lorrimer had fainted.
* * * * *
I stayed three days at the Great Hospital, three days of the most
delightful converse. At first, Lorrimer had rebelled, not realising
that Ideala's last decision was irrevocable.
"You have over-persuaded her," he said.
"No," I answered; "I have convinced her. And I shall convince you,
too."
He pleaded for her pathetically, not for himself at all. "She has had
so little joy!" he said; using the very words that had occurred to me.


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