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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

in the apt. for more than 2 kids and 3 grown ups so when
I get home if sweet Marie is still there yet we will either half to get
rid of the Swede cook or she, and when it comes to a choice between a ski
jumper that will work and a sister that won't why Florrie won't be bothered
with no family ties.
Any way I haven't no time to worry about no Allen family now as I am
feeling to good and all as I wish is that somebody wins this war dam toot
sweet so as I can get home and see this little chick Al and I bet she is as
pretty as a picture and she couldn't be nothing else you might say and I
have wrote to Florrie to not name her or nothing till I have my say as you
turn a woman loose on nameing somebody all alone and they go nuts and look
through a seed catalog.
Well old pal I know you would congratulate me if you was here and I am only
sorry I can't return the complement and if I was you and Bertha I would
adopt 1 of these here Belgium orphans that's lost their parents as they's
nothing like it Al haveing a kid or 2 in the house and I bet little Al is
tickled to death with his little sister.
Well Al I have told all the boys about it and they have been haveing a lot
of fun with me but any way they call me Papa now which is a he--ll of a lot
better then Sammy Boy.
Your pal, JACK.
* * * * *
_In the Trenchs, June 14._
FRIEND AL: I am all most to nervous to write Al but anything is better then
setting around thinking and besides I want you to know what has came off so
as you will know what come off in the case something happens.


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