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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

So Simon bought it of him and wanted to know all about how
Brady come to get the prisoner and of course Brady had to make it up as we
haven't saw a German let alone take them a prisoner since we was back in
the training arears and wouldn't know they was any only for their artillery
and throwing up rockets at night and snipping at a man every time you go
out on a wire party or something.
But any way Simon eats it up whatever you pull on him and some times I
feel sorry for him and feel like tipping him off but the boys fun would
be spoiled and believe me they need some kind of sport up here or pretty
soon we would all be worse off then Simon and we would be running around
fomenting at the mouth.
Well Al I wished you would write once in a wile if its only a line as a
man likes to get mail once in a wile and I haven't heard from Florrie
for pretty near a month and then all as she said was that the reason she
hadn't wrote was because she wasn't feeling the best and I suppose she got
something in her eye but anything for an excuse to not write and you would
think I had stepped outdoors to wash the windows instead of being away from
her since last December.
Your pal, JACK.
* * * * *
_In the Trenchs, June 4._
FRIEND AL: Well Al nothing doing as usual only patching things up once in a
wile and it would be as safe here as picking your teeth if our artillery
had a few brains as the Germans wouldn't never pay no tension to us if our
batterys would lay off them but we don't no sooner get a quite spell when
our guns cuts loose and remind Fritz that they's a war and then of course
the Dutchmens has got to pay for their board some way and they raise he--ll
for a wile and make everybody cross but as far as I can see they don't
nobody never get killed on 1 side or the other side but of course the
shells mess things up and keeps the boys busy makeing repairs where if our
artillery would keep their mouth shut why so would theirs and the boys
wouldn't never half to leave their dice game only for chow.


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