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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

Well the 1st. thing he asked me was if we had saw any actions
since we been here and I told him about a raid we was on the other night
before he come and we layed down a garage and then snuck over to the German
trenchs and jumped into them trying to get a hold of some prisoners but
we couldn't find head or tale of no Germans where our bunch jumped in as
they had ducked and hid somewheres when they found out we was comeing. So
he says he wished he could of been along as he might of picked up some
souvenirs over in their trenchs.
That's 1 of his bugs Al is getting souvenirs as he is 1 of these here
souvenir hounds that it don't make no differents to him who wins the war as
long as he can get a ship load of junk to carry it back home and show it
off. So I told Johnny Alcock and some of the other boys about Simon wishing
he could of got some souvenirs so they framed up on him and begin selling
him junk that they told him they had picked it up over in the German
trenchs and Alcock blowed some cigarette smoke in a bottle and corked it up
and told him it was German tear gas and Simon give him 8 franks for it and
Jack Brady showed him a couple of laths tied together with a peace of wire
and told him it was a part of the areoplane that belonged to Guy Meyer the
French ace that brought down so many Dutchmans before they finely got him
and Brady said he hated to part with it as he had took it off a German
prisoner that he brought in but if Simon thought it was worth 20 franks he
could have it.


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