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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

Well I happened to say
something yesterday to Sargent Crane about what time was we going and he
says where to and I said I thought our time was up and we was going to get
releived. So he says "Who is going to releive us and what and the he--ll do
you want to be releived of?" So I said I understood they didn't only keep a
regt. in the front line 10 days and then took them out and sent them to a
rest billet somewheres. So he says what do you call this but a rest billet?
So then I asked him how long we had to stay here and he said "Well it may
be a day or it may be all summer. But if we get ordered out in a hurry it
won't be to go to no rest billet but it will be to go up to where they are
fighting the war."
So I made the remark that I wished somebody had of tipped me off as I had
fixed up a kind of a date thinking we would be through here in 10 days. So
he asked me where my date was at and I said Cologne. So then he kind of
smiled and said "O and when was you planing to start?" So I said "I was
figureing on starting tonight." So he waited a minute and then he said
"Well I don't know if I can fix it for you tonight or tomorrow night, but
they's some of the boys going to start in that direction one of them times
and I guess you can go along."
Well Al I suppose Alcock and Brady and them has been playing another 1 of
their gags on me and I hope they enjoyed it and as far as I am conserned
they's no harm done. Cologne Al is way back of the German lines and when
Sargent Crane said they was some of the boys starting in that direction he
meant this here patrol.


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