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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"


Well as I say here we are with 10 days of it stareing us in the eye and the
cuties for company and the only way we can get out of here ahead of time is
on a stretcher and I wouldn't mind that Al but as I say I want to be awake
when my time comes because if I am going to get killed in this war I want
to have some idear who done it.
Your pal, JACK.
* * * * *
_In the Trenchs, May 14._
FRIEND AL: Well Al I got the supprise of my life today when Jack Brady
handed me a letter that had came for me and that's supprise enough itself
but all the more when I opened it up and seen who it was from. Well it was
from that baby in Cologne and I will coppy it down as it is short and you
can see for yourself what she says. Well here it is:
"_Dear Mr. Keefe_: Your letter just reached me and you can bet I was
glad to get it. I sure will be glad to see you when you come to Cologne
and I will be more than glad to show you the sights. This is some town and
we sure will have a time when you get here. I am just learning to write
English so please excuse mistakes but all I want to say is don't disappoint
me but write when you will come so I can be all dressed up comme un cheval.
Avec l'amour und kussen.
"MARIE ANTOINETTE."
You see Al they's part of it wrote in French and that last part means with
love and kisses. Well I guess that letter I wrote her must have went over
strong and any ways it looks like she didn't exactly hate me eh Al? Well it
looks like I would half to write to her back and tell her I am a married
man and they can't be no flirting between her and I but if she wants to be
a good pal and show me around O.


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