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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"


Well I suppose Alcock was sore at me for getting the best of him and not
falling for his gag and he was afraid to tackle me himself and he told big
Shaffer a peck of lies about some dam letter or something and said I stole
it and it made Shaffer sore and no wonder because who wouldn't be sore if
they thought somebody was reading their male. But a man like Shaffer that
if he stopped a shell the Dutchmens would half to move back a ways so as
they would be room enough in France to bury him hasn't got no right to
pick on a smaller man especially when I wasn't feeling good on acct. of
something I eat but at that Al size don't make no difference and its the
bird that's got the nerve and knows how that can knock them dead and if
Shaffer had of gave me any warning he would of been the 1 that is scratched
up instead of I though I guess he is to lucky to trip over a kit bag and
fall down and cut himself.
But my scratchs don't really amt. to nothing Al and in a few days I will be
like new.
Your pal, JACK.
* * * * *
_Somewheres in France, April 25._
FRIEND AL: Well old pal I have got some big news for you now. We been
ordered up to the front and its good by to this Class D burg and now for
some real actions and I am tickled to death and I only hope the Dutchmens
will loose their minds and try and start something up on the section where
we are going to and I can't tell you where its at Al but you keep watching
the papers and even if the boshs don't start nothing maybe we will start
something on our own acct.


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