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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"


Well Alcock and some of them thought they was putting up a game on me and
was going to make me look like a monkey but before I get through with them
Al they will be the suckers and I will be giveing them the horse laugh but
what I ought to do is bust them in the jaw and if I was running this war
every bird that tried to pull off some practical joke to put a man in bad,
I would give a lead shower in their honor some A. M. before breakfast.
Alcock was trying to make me believe that 1 of the boys in the Co. name
Geo. Shaffer was a German spy or something and they framed up a letter like
as if he wrote it to Van Hindenburg giveing away secrets in German about
our army and etc. but they made the mistake of signing his initials to the
letter so when I come to think it over I seen it must be a fake because a
bird that was a real spy wouldn't never sign their own name to a letter but
they would sign John Smith or something.
But any way I had a hold of this letter and a peace of another letter that
Shaffer really did write it and I thought I would show them to Capt. Seeley
and play it safe because they might be something in them after all and any
way it would give him a good laugh. So yesterday I went and seen him and he
says "Well Keefe what can I do for you?" So I said "You can't do nothing
for me sir but this time I can do something for you. What would you think
if I told you they was a trader and a German spy in your Co.


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