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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

Seeley can they have a word with him and what they want
is to borry his knife to pair their finger nails.
But I guess he won't be sorry he seen me Al not when I show him the stuff
I have got on this bird and he will probably shake me by the hand and say
"Well Keefe Uncle Sam is proud of you but you are waisting your time here
and I will be sorry to loose you but it looks like you belong in other
fields." And he will wire a telegram to the gen. staff reccomending me to
go to Paris.
I guess I all ready told you some of the stuff I have got on this bird but
I have not told you all because the best one didn't only happen last night.
Well on acct. of I and Alcock being friends he has kind of been keeping a
eye pealed on Shaffer to help me out and he found a letter last night that
Shaffer had wrote and this time it was the whole letter with the address
and everything and who do you suppose it was to? Well Al it was to Van
Hindenburg himself and I have got it right here where I can keep a eye on
it and believe me it's worth watching and I wished I could send it to you
so you could see for yourself what kind of a bird we are dealing with. But
that's impossible Al but they's nothing to keep me from copping it off.
Well the letter is wrote in German and to show you what a foxy bird he is
he wrote it out in printing so as if it got found by somebody they couldn't
prove he wrote it because when words is wrote out in printing it looks just
the same who ever wrote it and you can't tell.


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