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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

time and says he was out to Lincoln Pk. kidding the bison or something
and the lawyer points out to the jury where his storys don't jib and the
next thing you know he is dressed up in a hemp collar a couple sizes to
small.
And that's the same way I triped Shaffer getting him to say he wasn't
married and finely when I have him cornered he busts out about his mother
in law. Well Al I don't know of no way to get a mother in law without
marrying into one. So I told Alcock tonight what had came off and he says
it looked to him like I had a strong case and if he was me he would spill
it to Capt. Seeley the minute he gets back. And he said "You lucky stiff
you won't never see the inside of a front line trench." So I asked him
what he meant and he repeated over again what he said about them takeing
me in the intelligents dept. So it looks like I was about through being a
doughboy Al and pretty soon I will probably be writeing to you from Paris
but I don't suppose I will be able to tell you what I am doing because
that's the kind of a job where mum is the word.
Your pal, JACK.
* * * * *
_Somewheres in France, April 16._
FRIEND AL: Well old pal don't be supprised if I write you the next time
from Paris. I have got a date to see Capt. Seeley tomorrow and Lieut.
Mather fixed it up for me to see him but I had to convince the lieut. that
it wasn't no monkey business because they's always a whole lot of riffs and
raffs asking Capt.


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