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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

But I know you wouldn't breath a word
about it and besides it wouldn't hurt nothing if you did because by the
time you get this letter the whole thing will be over and this bird to who
I refer will probably own a peace of land in France with a 2 ft. frontidge
and 6 ft. deep. But you will wonder what am I trying to get at so maybe
I better explain myself. Well Al they's a big bird in our Co, name Geo.
Shaffer and that's a German name because look at Schaefer that use to play
ball in our league and it was spelt different but they called him Germany
and he thought he was funny and use to pull gags on the field but I guess
he didn't feel so funny the day Griffith sent him up to hit against me in
the pinch I day at Washington and if the ball he hit had of went straight
out instead of straight up it would of pretty near cleared the infield. But
any way this bird Shaffer in our Co. is big enough to have a corporal to
himself and they must of spent the first Liberty Loan on his uniform and
he hasn't hardly said a word since we been in France and for a wile we
figured it was just because he was a crab and to grouchy to talk, but now
I wouldn't be supprised Al if the real reason was on acct. of him being a
Dutchman and maybe can't talk English very good. Well I would feel pretty
mean to be spying on most of the boys that's been good pals with me, but
when a man is a pro German spy himself they's no question of friendship and
etc.


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