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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

mist me and how much she cares I wouldn't
of been waisting no time on no Ernestine but its to late now and Black
Jack's gone and so is my 20 franks and believe me Al 20 frank notes is tray
pew over here. I'll say they are.
Your pal, JACK.


CHAPTER IV
DECORATED

_Somewheres in France, April 2._
FRIEND AL: Well Al yesterday was April Fool and you ought to seen what I
pulled on 1 of the boys Johnny Alcock and it was a screen and some of the
boys is still laughing over it yet but he is I of the kind that he can't
see a joke at their own expenses and he swelled up like a poison pup and
now he is talking about he will get even with me, but the bird that gets
even with me will half to get up a long time before revelry eh Al.
Well Al I will tell you what I pulled on him and I bet you will bust your
sides. Well it seems like Johnny has got a girl in his home town Riverside,
Ill. near Chi and that is he don't know if he has got her or not because
him and another bird was both makeing a play for her, but before he come
away she told him to not worry, but the other bird got himself excused out
of the draft with a cold sore or something and is still there in the old
town yet where he can go and call on her every night and she is libel to
figure that maybe she better marry him so as she can have some of her
evenings to herself and any way she might as well of told Johnny to not
scratch himself over here as to not worry because for some reason another
the gal didn't write to him last month at lease he didn't get no letters
and maybe they got lost or she had writers cramps or something but any way
every time the mail come and nothing for him he looked like he had been
caught off second base.


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