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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"


But I suppose the French soldiers figure they have got enough of a job on
their hands remembering their different uniforms and who to salute and etc.
and they have got a fine system in the French army Al because you wear
whatever you was before you got to be what you are that is sometimes. For
inst. suppose you use to be in the artillery and now you are a aviator you
still wear a artillery uniform part of the time and its like I use to pitch
for the White Sox and I guess I would be a pretty looking bird if I waddled
around in the mire here a wile with my old baseball unie on me and soon
people would begin to think I was drafted from the Toledo Mud Hens.
Seriously Al sometimes you see 4 or 5 French officers comeing along and
they haven't one of them got the same color uniform on but they are all
dressed up like a Roman candle you might say and if their uniforms run when
they got wet a man could let them drip into a pail and drink it up for a
pussy cafe.
Well Al the boys in our regt. is going to get out a newspaper and get it
out themself and it will be just the news about our regt. and a few gags
and comical storys about the different boys and they are going to get it
out once per wk.
Corp. Pierson from our Co. that use to work on a newspaper somewheres is
going to be the editor and he wants I should write them up something about
baseball and how to pitch and etc. but I don't believe in a man waisting
their time on a childs play like writeing up articles for a newspaper but
just to stall him I said I would try and think up something and give it to
him when I had it wrote up.


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