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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

S. battle ship in danger they mean
he might maybe die because he eat to much and no exercise.
So if I was them I would send the big ships here so as we could use them
for motor Lauras and I guess they's no place in our whole camp where you
couldn't float them and I don't know how it is all over France but if they
was a baseball league between the towns where they have got us billeted the
fans would get blear eyed looking at the no game sign and if a mgr. worked
their pitchers in turn say it was my turn tomorrow and the next time my
turn come around some of little Al's kids would half to help me out of the
easy chair and say "Come on granpa you pitch this afternoon."
Jokeing a side Al if I was running the training camps like Camp Grant back
home instead of starting the men off with the regular drills and hikes like
they give them now I would stand them under a shower bath with their close
on about 1/2 the time and when it come time for a hike I would send them
back and fourth across Rock River and back where they wasn't no bridge. And
then maybe when they got over here France wouldn't be such a big supprise.
One of the boys has put a sign up on our billet and it says Noahs Ark on it
and maybe you have heard that old gag Al about the big flood that everybody
was drownded only Noah and his folks and a married couple of every kind of
animals in the world and they wasn't drownded because Noah had a Ark for
them to get in out of the wet.


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