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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"


Well of course I am not going to write up nothing for her and after this
I will keep away from the canteen because it isn't right to leave her see
to much of me even if she does know I am married but if I do write her
something I will make it comical and no mushy stuff in it. But it does
seem like fate or something that the harder I try and not get mixed up in
a flirtation I can't turn around you might say but what they's some gal
poping up on my trail and if it was anybody else only Miss Moselle I
wouldn't mind but she is a darb and I wouldn't do nothing to hurt her for
the world but they can't nobody say this is my fault.
Well Al I pretty near forgot to tell you that the boys is putting on a
entertainment over to the Y. M. C. A. Saturday night and they will be
singing and gags and etc. and they asked me would I give them a little talk
on baseball and I said no at first but they begged me and finely I give my
consent but you know how I hate makeing speeches and etc. but a man don't
hardly feel like refuseing when they want me so bad so I am going to give
them a little talk on my experiences and make it comical and I will tell
you about the entertainment when its over.
Your pal, JACK.
* * * * *
_Somewheres in France, Feb. 15._
FRIEND AL: Well Al I just been over to the canteen and I give the little
lady the valentine I promised to write up for her and I wasn't going
to write it up only I happened to remember that I promised so I wrote
something up and I was going to make it comical but I figured that would
disappoint her on acct.


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