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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

Well any way he says why didn't we go over to the Red X
canteen resturent and buy ourself a feed so we went over and its a little
shack where the Red X serves you a pretty good meal for 1 frank and that's
about $.19 cents and they don't try and make no profits on it but just run
them so as a man don't half to go along all the wile on what the army hands
out to you.
Well they was 3 janes on the job over there and 2 of them would be safe
anywheres you put them but the other one is Class A and her old woman must
of been pie eyed when she left her come over here. Well Carson said she
belonged to him because he had seen her before and besides I was a married
man so I says all right go ahead and get her. Well Al it would be like
Terre Haute going after George Sisler or somebody and the minute we blowed
in she didn't have eyes for only me but I wasn't going to give her no
encouragement because we were here to kill Germans and not ladys but I
wished you could of seen the smile she give me. Well she's just as much a
American as I or you but of course Carson had to be cute and try to pull
some of his French on her so he says Bon soir Madam Moselle and that is
the same like we would say good evening but when Carson pulled it I spoke
up and said "If your bones is soir why don't you go and take the baths
somewhere?" Pretending like I thought he meant his bones were sore. Well
the little lady got it O. K. and pretty near laughed outright.


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