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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"

But if you see in the Chi papers where one of the
reporters was talking to a soldier that use to be a star pitcher in the
American League or something you will know who they mean. He said he would
drop by in a few days again and see if I had something wrote up for him but
I will half to tell him I have been to busy to monkey with it.
As far as I can see they's enough songs all ready wrote up about the war so
as everybody in the army and navy could have 1 a peace and still have a few
left over for the boshs and that's a name we got up for the Germans Al and
instead of calling them Germans we call them boshs on acct. of them being
so full of bunk.
Well Al one of the burgs along the line is where Jonah Vark was born when
she was alive. It seems like France was mixed up in another war along about
a 100 yrs. ago and they was getting licked and Jonah was just a young gal
but she dressed up in men's coat and pants and went up to the front and led
the charges with a horse and she carried a white flag and the Dutchmens or
whoever they was fighting against must of thought it was a flag of truants
and any way they didn't fire at them and the French captured New Orleans
and win the war. The Germans is trying to pull the same stuff on our boys
now and lots of times they run up and holler Conrad like they was going to
give up and when your back is turned they whang away at you but they won't
pull none of that stuff on me and when one of them trys to Conrad me I will
perculate them with a bayonet.


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