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Lardner, Ring, 1885-1933

"The Real Dope"


But he says he would put it in the paper that he was talking to a man that
use to be a star pitcher on the White Sox and he says everybody would know
who it was he was talking about because they wasn't such a slue of star
pitchers in the army that it would take a civil service detective to find
out who he meant.
So we talked along and finely he asked me was I going to write a book about
the war and I said no and he says all right he would tell the paper that he
had ran across a soldier that not only use to be a ball player but wasn't
going to write a book and they would make a big story out of it.
So I said I wouldn't know how to go about it to write a book but when I
went around the world with the 2 ball clubs that time I use to write some
poultry once in a wile just for different occasions like where the boys was
called on for a speech or something and they didn't know what to say so I
would make up one of my poems and the people would go nuts over them.
So he said why didn't I tear off a few patriotic poems now and slip them to
him and he would send them to his paper and they would print them and maybe
if some of them was good enough somebody would set down and write a song to
them and probably everybody would want to buy it and sing it like Over
There and I would clean up a good peace of jack.
Well Al I told him I would see if I could think up something to write and
of course I was just stalling him because a soldier has got something
better to do than write songs and I will leave that to the birds that was
gun shy and stayed home.


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