Miss
Dodan should go,--I should urge it. I would applaud and hasten it, there
would be no weakness, no supplication, no obstacles on my part. Let
death write his inerrant claim to me, let it be recognized; Mr. Dodan
need not be disturbed as to my absolute self-control.
The very acerbity of my coming misery, through Miss Dodan's absence,
fully realized by me, seemed now only to add a desperation of assumed
indifference and gayety to all my actions. I argued against delay, and
dwelt with excellent effect upon the charms of the visit. I assumed that
Miss Dodan needed the change, that the educational value of such an
experience would be incalculable.
Mr. Dodan was frankly surprised and pleased. This unexpected support and
enthusiastic commendation of his plan was something he gratefully
accepted, and he assumed a new manner toward me. He ascribed to me a
power of self-renunciation which won his ardent approval and admiration.
The day was at last fixed. Miss Dodan, young, appreciative, and
curious, was elated at the prospect of the voyage, and, momentarily, at
least, forgot her first reluctance to desert me. The preparations were
all completed. I need not dwell upon all the detail of that last week.
It was a cruel ordeal for me, but no one would have suspected my real
anguish. I seemed the most thoughtful of all, the most naturally buoyant
and hopeful for the success of the trip. I forgot nothing. The telegraph
station was not, however, neglected.
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