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Adams, Samuel Hopkins, 1871-1958

"The Unspeakable Perk"

Did
they prove as bad as you feared?"
"Worse. I've hardly forgotten yet what you look like. Your kind of
face is bad for business."
"What is business?"
"Haven't I told you? I'm a scientist."
"Well, I'm a specimen. No beetle that crawls or creeps or hobbles,
or does whatever beetles are supposed to do, shows any greater
variation from type--I heard a man say that in a lecture once--
than I do. Can't I interest you in my case, O learned one? The
proper study of mankind is--"
"Woman. Yes, I know all about that. But I'm a groundling."
"Mr. Beetle Man," she said, in a tremulous voice, "the rock is
moving."
"I don't feel it. Though it might be a touch of earthquake. We
have 'em often."
"Not your rock. The tarantula rock, I mean."
"Nonsense! A hundred tarantulas couldn't stir it."
"Well, it seems to be moving, and that's just as bad. I'm tired
and I'm lonely. Oh, please, Professor Scarab, have I got to fall
on your neck again to introduce a little human companionship into
this conversation?"
"Caesar! No! My shoulder's still lame. What do you want, anyway?"
"I want to know about you and your work.


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