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Adams, Samuel Hopkins, 1871-1958

"The Unspeakable Perk"

So one might suspect. Do you know what I'm doing, Mr.
Beetle Man?"
"N-n-no."
"I'm flirting with you. I never flirted with a scientific person
before. It's awfully one-sided, difficult, uphill work."
This last was all but drowned out in his flood of panicky
instructions, from which she disentangled such phrases as "first
to left"--"dry river-bed-hundred-yards"--"dead tree--can't miss
it."
"If you send me away now, I'll cry. Really, truly cry, this time."
"No, you won't! I mean I won't! I--I'll do anything! I'll talk!
I'll make conversation! How old are you? That's what the Chinese
ask. I used to have a Chinese cook, but he lost all my shirt
studs, playing fan-tan. Can you play fan-tan? Two can't play,
though. They have funny cards in this country, like the Spanish.
Have you seen a bullfight yet? Don't do it. It's dull and brutal.
The bull has no more chance than--than--"
"Than an unprotected man with a conscienceless flirt, who falls on
his neck and then threatens to submerge him in tears."
"Now you're beginning again!" he wailed. "What did you jump for,
anyway?"
"I slipped.


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