Oh, how fondly did I dwell on them! Then there was her
hat and bonnet--oh, me, how fondly did I gaze upon them! and after
looking at her things for hours, I would sit and ruminate on the
happiness I had lost. How I execrated the moment I had gone to the
fair to sell horses! 'Would that I had never been to Horncastle to
sell horses!' I would say; 'I might at this moment have been
enjoying the company of my beloved, leading a happy, quiet, easy
life, but for that fatal expedition;' that thought worked on my
brain, till my brain seemed to turn round.
"One day I sat at the breakfast-table gazing vacantly around me, my
mind was in a state of inexpressible misery; there was a whirl in
my brain, probably like that which people feel who are rapidly
going mad; this increased to such a degree that I felt giddiness
coming upon me. To abate this feeling I no longer permitted my
eyes to wander about, but fixed them upon an object on the table,
and continued gazing at it for several minutes without knowing what
it was; at length, the misery in my head was somewhat stilled, my
lips moved, and I heard myself saying, 'What odd marks!' I had
fastened my eyes on the side of a teapot, and by keeping them fixed
upon it, had become aware of a fact that had escaped my notice
before--namely, that there were marks upon it.
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