What
could they mean by such conduct--did they wish to cheat me of the
animal? "Well, well," said I, "if they did, what matters, they
found their match; yes, yes," said I, "but I am in their power,
perhaps"--but I instantly dismissed the apprehension which came
into my mind, with a pooh, nonsense! In a little time, however, a
far more foolish and chimerical idea began to disturb me--the idea
of being flung from my horse; was I not disgraced for ever as a
horseman by being flung from my horse? Assuredly, I thought; and
the idea of being disgraced as a horseman, operating on my nervous
system, caused me very acute misery. "After all," said I to
myself, "it was perhaps the contemptible opinion which the surgeon
must have formed of my equestrian powers, which induced him to
offer to take my horse off my hands; he perhaps thought I was
unable to manage a horse, and therefore in pity returned in the
dead of night to offer to purchase the animal which had flung me;"
and then the thought that the surgeon had conceived a contemptible
opinion of my equestrian powers, caused me the acutest misery, and
continued tormenting me until some other idea (I have forgot what
it was, but doubtless equally foolish) took possession of my mind.
At length, brought on by the agitation of my spirits, there came
over me the same feeling of horror that I had experienced of old
when I was a boy, and likewise of late within the dingle; it was,
however, not so violent as it had been on those occasions, and I
struggled manfully against it, until by degrees it passed away, and
then I fell asleep; and in my sleep I had an ugly dream.
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